The Darkness

By Lynne Hendricks

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© 2015 the author and Shortbread Stories. All rights reserved.

Trudy regained consciousness gasping for her breath, wondering where she could be. It was dark and she was so cold, so cold she could not stop her body shaking. She tried to roll over onto her side, in an attempt to warm herself, but found that she couldn’t move. It felt like she was tied down or being restrained by something. She strained as hard as she could, but her muscles would not heed her command and move her body into an upright position.

Panic stricken she started calling out for someone to help her.

‘Help me please, someone, anyone,’ she called out over and over again, but no one responded.

‘Hello,’ she said this time a little bit calmer. ‘Is anyone there? If you can hear please untie me or at least tell me where I am? Why have you brought me here?’ she pleaded.

She strained her ears for any sounds, but was greeted by dead silence, a kind of silence that she had never experienced before. Panic set in once more as she pleaded to know where she was and why she had been brought here, with no result. 

The first of her senses to come back to her was her sense of smell and the smell in this room was overpowering. She would never be able to forget this smell, a strong sterile smell that burnt her nose. She lay there in her dark reality trying to conjure up her last memory. Where had she been? What was she doing? How did she get here? Her memory would not allow any information to surface and this frustrated her even more. It must have been hours, or so it felt to her laying there in the dark trying to remember something, anything.

Suddenly she sensed movement around her. She could sense people moving around in the room she was in. Then she heard the faint peep, peep sound coming from her far right. The voices followed soon; yes she was finally going to get the help she needed. “Her heart rate is slowing down, Doctor,” the voice echoed.

“Thank you Nurse. It shouldn’t be too long now. Please just keep an eye on her and let me know the exact time the heart stops. I must say this is taking longer than normal.” She heard a male voice echo.

Nurse? Doctor? She thought. I must be in hospital, but what for and why, why can’t I remember what happened to me?

‘Hello ... Hello,’ she said. ‘Please can you tell me what happened? Where am I? Can someone please tell me what’s going on? Help me please,’ she shouted!

No one seems to respond to her cries for help. She tried again. ‘Doctor... Nurse? Please someone help! Please tell me what is happening?’ she pleaded and still no one responded. She tried all she could but no sound would come out of her mouth, she then realised that she heard her screaming in her head. It was only thoughts. She was not able to move or call out.

This scared Trudy even more. Why can’t I move, what has happened to me? She asked herself these questions over and over, but did not get any closer to finding the answers. She still could not see anything and had to rely on her sense of smell and hearing to try and understand what was happening. She continued laying there listening to sounds, sensing people moving around her, but no one gave away any clue as to where she was or what was happening.

“How much longer?” she heard someone ask again.

“I don’t know,” another voice replied. “The heart rate is slowing down, but it’s taking a bit longer than usual.”

She could still hear the peep, peep of the heart monitor. She did not want to die; she wanted to know what was happening.

Trudy willed her eyes to work, she knew that if she could open them and get someone’s attention they would not just leave her to die. They would do everything in their power to save her. She strained her eyelids, willing them to open. Then she sensed someone leaning over her. Her left eyelid was pulled back.

‘Yes, yes,’ she thought. ‘Look into my eyes and see that I am alive.’ She willed the person. She could not see who was leaning over her. Only the glare of the light being shone into her left eye before the person repeated the action on the right eye.

“There is no life there,” she now recognized the voice of the Nurse. “It’s just the heart that keeps on beating,” the nurse said.

‘I am here,’ she screamed in her head again. ‘I can hear you. Please someone hear me? Someone help me please. Help me.’

She now become desperate, and did not want to this opportunity to pass her by, but with no help coming Trudy gave up and relaxed into her dark ibis. Waiting for what must happen next to happen. For a while no one moved or spoke and again it felt like hours passed. She could feel herself calming down. That ridged tenseness had left her body. She was ready to accept whichever fate was coming her way and her emotions were running high. She could feel the tears welling deep inside her. This was it she was dying and there was nothing she could do about it.

“We have movement,” she heard the nurse say. She could hear footsteps moving closer to her bedside. “The heart rate is erratic, but it’s slowing down. I think she is going into shock.”

Trudy could actually feel the life slipping out of her. She was so cold. ‘Why won’t someone cover me with a blanket? Just because I am dying doesn’t mean no one should care. I do deserve to die with comfort and dignity.’ she thought.

Trudy lay there panic stricken. It was finally going to happen and she still had no idea what was going on. How could she possible die without knowing what was happening to her? This thought frightened her and she could feel the panic boiling inside her once again. She screamed as loud she could in her head, begging the Doctor and the Nurse to help. To explain to her what was happening, but no one heard her silent screams. No one responded to her plea for help.

She lay there in her own private hell, feeling the life slipping out of her and she could not do anything about it. With her last ounce of energy she willed her sight to return. She needed to know where she was before she died. Slowly the bright light penetrated her vision. The room itself was brightly lit and at first she could not make out anything other than the bright light.

She took her time to allow her eyes time to adjust to the brightness. Then she saw his face, a tall stern looking man staring at.

His eyes penetrating hers so deeply she immediately feared him. He looked familiar, but she could not place him. Their eyes met and she could almost see him grimace with disgust at her. ‘What I have done to this man to make him hate me so much.’ She thought. A new realization hit her. This man was staring at her from behind a glass wall. He turned to leave after one last glare and Trudy was sent into fit of convulsions as her memories came flooding back.

She knew who this man was and she knew why he hated her so much. She could hear his harsh and final words spoken to her. “It is women like you Trudy Baker, mothers who commit heinous crimes that force people like me make examples of you. In your case I am pleased to rid this world of the likes of you. Your crime was inexcusable. You do not deserve to walk freely among other law abiding citizens. I hereby give you the harshest sentence ever given to any person in my lifetime. I sentence you to death by lethal injection, for the murder of your children.”

‘No......’ Trudy shouted at herself. ‘I…I killed my children. Little Brian, only five years old and Tracy, just six months old, all because I couldn’t support them anymore. I lost everything and felt that this would be the best solution to my problem. I am not an evil woman. I was just a desperate mother.’

Trudy cried a silent and solitary tear for her children. A tear that went unnoticed as she breathed her final breath and her heart beat for the very last time.

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